Blue Haired Ladies with Casseroles

It’s been more than 40 years ago now, since I received a call on Christmas morning. Someone close to me had just found her baby dead in his crib. Here was a healthy, beautiful, little boy, put down in his bed on Christmas Eve with a kiss, all his little presents wrapped and under the tree downstairs. And a little family goes to bed with all the hopes, dreams and expectations of a long life together ---- at the very least, an expectation of a tomorrow.

But “tomorrow” as they knew it should be never came. In the stillness of that Christmas Eve, angels had come in silence and taken this baby Home.

I can’t know that pain or understand the agony of a parent’s soul. I’m not a mother. I watch from afar and wonder why. For all these years, I’ve wondered why, to some degree. I’ve learned that God ways are beyond our understanding at times, and to give someone the baby they longed for and then take it back just seems . . . . Well, incomprehensible!

Yet, He whispers, “Trust Me!”

People have what they would like to call “answers,” and they don’t ask if you want to hear them --- they seem to have a need to spew them at you. And they are all wrong. All hurtful. All soul killers. Little old ladies with blue hair and casseroles --- and “answers.” They are worse than Job’s friends. They don’t even sit in silence. “If you had been a better Christian, this would not have happened to you.” “If you had come to church more. . .,” “You’d better get your life right with God or He will take your other son, too.” And on it goes, the cutting into an already shattered heart, no one with arms that comfort or words that mourn.

Yet, He whispers, “Trust Me!”

Could it possibly be that this could happen again? How could her heart, so full of hope and love again, find the strength to beat in the loss of another? Where do thoughts go, where do anchors catch hold, and how many bottles will it take to catch the tears??? Does God care? And the ultimate question surfaces: “Do babies that die go to Heaven?” Don’t ever ask because the risk of what you will hear is more than a heart can bare!

Yet, He whispers, “Trust Me!”

I was in shock, speechless, with no words and no understanding. I had nothing to offer. All my years of “church” were swimming in the toilet, drowning with hollow answers that I dared not say nor did I believe.
My years of Bible School never addressed anything as “real life” as this. But somewhere in the depths of my soul I knew that the character of God was better than . . . Blue haired ladies with casseroles! He HAD to be! But a gut feeling and nice thoughts are not enough, can be shot through with a few dull doubts, and on a bad day, won’t hold even single tear.

And so I began to search --- not so much as a definite project or Bible Study --- but snatching puzzle pieces, as it were, and fitting them into the shattered frame of a baby’s death. A verse here, a passage there, something about God’s character, His work . . . And His love and grace -- all “Hidden riches from secret places” set out for me to find.

One of the most helpful things for me was a Bible Study about the Names of God called, “Lord, I want to know You.” That He is called, El Elyon, the most high God in control of all things -- whether it be a sparrow that falls, a baby that dies, kings and rulers, or the stars in the skies --- HE is in control. That He is called El Roi -- the God who sees all things, sees the unfairness and hurts and unjustness and makes a way through the desserts and wilderness wanderings for those who suffer. That He is a tender shepherd who carries His lambs and cares for their every need. That His banner over us is Love. And on and on and on it went until yes, I did know and understand His character more and more through His names.

And still, He whispers, “Trust Me!”

I then read in II Samuel 12 about David and when his infant son died. And David cries out that he will someday go and be with his son. I sat up straight on that one! I had not read that before, or at least, not since. . … .

Other instances --- the fact that God stopped the killing of Isaac as Abraham lifted the knife on the alter of sacrifice. The fact that God told His people they would not enter the Promised Land due to their unbelief but rather, would wander in the wilderness until the last of them had died ---- except for the children --- they would not pay for the sin of unbelief of their fathers.

But I think it was the understanding of Romans 1:20-21 that confirmed my first beliefs. I already understood that those who have deliberately disobeyed the gospel by refusing to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ would go to hell (2 Thess. 1:8-9). But what about those who have never heard, those we call “heathen?” The passage in Romans tells us they are condemned for rejecting the lesser revelation that God has given to them. An infant would be incapable of rejecting or receiving this lesser revelation.

When I stand at the foot of the cross, I see the heart of God, and hear “Even so it is not the will of your Father, who is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.” (Matt 18:14).

And still, He says, “Trust me!”

Some don’t need all the verses and understanding. I wish I were like that --- to just have a simple trust that the arrows can’t reach. Maybe you have had doubts, or arrows shot into your heart, and you have had questions that you dared not ask for fear of the answers. Perhaps you know someone who has suffered tragic losses. If you do, tuck these verses away somewhere and when the time if right, offer them gently.
Don’t be one of those little old ladies with blue hair and a casserole!!!!!

And believe me, you can trust Him!