Miracles Never Cease!!!!

Last week, I posted about Buster, my Chocolate Lab! So many of you were so encouraging about him settling down, learning to behave, etc., and I thank you for all those comments.

A few days ago, my sister and brother-in-law decided to do an experiment, mustard up all the nerve they could, and came through the gate into my back yard. We only had to say "NO!" one time, and Buster did NOT jump on them, as excited as he was to have his favorite friends there. We walked up to the porch, sat down, and waited to see what would happen. Believe it or not, he was as good as gold the whole time we were there. To most of you, this would go unnoticed, but to all of us, it was the biggest change we've seen yet in Buster. Usually "Uncle Bob" would go home with scratches, blood dripping down his arm, dirt all over his shirt, etc. I just couldn't believe the change and my hopes were renewed that MAYBE I'll end up with a great dog after all.

I've noticed Buster doing a lot of thinking lately. Maybe it's a part of the maturing process, or the fact that a lot of the hyper-ness is going away, but he does seem to be figuring out that some things make me happy, and some thing DON'T!!!!

I went way back in my blog and read some of those first posts about how terrible he was, flunking out of obedience school, and thinking I would have to give him up. It's been a hard year with him, but I'm beginning to think it will all be worth it. When you see continuing progress each and every day, there's a lot more "Good Boy!" being said, than all the other stuff that goes with "Bad Boy!!!!"

If I ever get another dog, and I have a pick of the litter, it will NOT be the one that is happy, up front, jumping on me, loving me, and having a gay old time of it. It will be the poor little sad faced guy, the one who looks like he needs a friend -- NOT the one who thinks the world revolves around him, like Buster did. I'm too old for all these shanannagins!!!!!

So here he is -- sleeping on my feet under my computer. My best friend, all wrapped around my heart now. Who would have thought it would take over a year for him to figure life out and to get ME trained?????

Update on Buster!

Some of you have followed my blog from the very beginning, and you are probably wondering whatever happened with all the behavorial, emotional, and weird habits that I struggled with him for so, so long. As you recall, there were times I was just ready to give up and get rid of him, as I just couldn't get a handle on all the issues going on at one time.

Yes, we flunked out of "Bad Boy School." That is still to his shame, and he remembers, believe me, when I say those words. But what we did learn there is embedded in his little heart and he does well on his leash with those few commands.

So many people told me that it would take a year to two years for him to "settle down," and I wondered if that day would ever come. My front door has not been open in months and months because he is so strong and pushes right past me out the door. No one can come in unless they are suited up with bubble wrap and protective head gear. And Heaven only knows if he will go through my front window again if a squirrel dares to come too close to the house again!!!!!

I'm not allowed to talk on the phone in the house. I have to sit outside and talk. That seems to be ok with him.

About two months ago, I thought I would just HAVE to get a handle on some of the other issues, like barking in my face, the defiant "NO" that I get when I tell him to not do something, or give a command, etc. I reluctantly bought one of those collars that has the remote that gives the shock when they disobey. But there it sits, still in the box, sitting on the table. I just couldn't do it.

Since the start of the whole cancer journey, though, there seems to have been some changes in Buster, most on the positive side. I don't know if he just knows. . . . or if he is just growing up and settling in. Here in the house, he seems to have grown more quiet, more attuned to my moods and feelings, more "sweet" in his actions towards me, and less of a "pain in the neck!" For the first time, he is actually sitting with me beside my rocker out on the porch. You have to understand, this dog NEVER sits outside. He runs like a maniac at about 100 miles per hour. Hence, no pictures!!!!! To have him sit there with me seems almost like a miracle!

One good thing that happened by chance was the "good boy box." All I have to say is those words to him, and everything changes. He knows where the good boy box is, and when he hears those words, he melts into this loving, sitting, attentive, drooling, "I'll be good forever" dogs with eyes that just melt your heart. You see, in the "Good Boy Box" are PIGS' EARS! His all time favorite treat. You have to understand that these are NOT cheap! So mostly, these are used to get him to go to bed. He seemed to never want to go with me to bed, and I dared not leave him alone in the house, as I would not HAVE a house in the morning! So it costs me a pig's ear to go to bed!!!!!

We have yet to try a guest in the house again. But we are thinking that my sister would make a good guinea pig to see if he can behave like a normal dog. He loves Aunt Juri and Uncle Bob so much that he just barrels them over!!!! He can't hear a command, settle down, sit, come, stay, or anything if they are in the house. So. . . . when my sister feels up to having her hair pulled out, face covered with slobber, etc., we will try again. I'm hoping for some kind of improvement. . . . otherwise, our existance in this house will be a very lonely one, for sure. No one in. . . .no one out!

You can't say I haven't tried!!!!! If I didn't love the overgrown ofe so much, he would have been gone long ago! To see an ounce of improvement is a miracle, so I'm holding out some hope for a good future between us! The fact that BUSTER loves ME has a lot to do with his staying here, too. In fact, there seems to be some kind of anxiety disorder going on there as he is STILL velcroed to my side 24/7. He still will not go out by himself, even though he has a huge fenced in back yard all to himself. I have to go out with him as if he were an 8 week old puppy. The alternative????? He broke down my back door!!!!!

So there we are. Oh, every morning I get my bald head washed with kisses! Now, doesn't that count for something??????

Cross to Bear . . . . or Blessing Dipped in Chocolate!!!!!

Those of you who are a little newer to my blog have not had the privilege (or nightmare!) of meeting . . . . Buster!



I think if I had known last June what I was in for with this guy, I would have NEVER in my right mind have gathered that bundle of joy in my arms and actually PAY to take it home.

But I did!

You can go back in my posts and read about my awful training experiences, flunking out of "bad boy school" etc., etc., etc. Here's one post, shortly after flunking training school and I was wondering if Buster was really right for me:

http://hiddenrichessecretplaces.blogspot.com/2007/12/never-give-up.html

I don't know that things are much better now that he is over 100 pounds, as strong as a Clydesdale, smart as a fox. . . . but as loveable as an overgrown teddybear! Maybe I've changed. I know I sigh a lot, yell a lot, mumble a lot, and threaten him with animal control, the pound, life in the street, etc., etc. He stands there and looks at me with a question mark wrinkled on his forehead as if to say, "Are you over it yet, lady????"

I've mellowed over the past year. He's jumped through my front window, almost pounded down my back door, can jump about 5 feet straight up in the air, thinks that the word "no" was meant only for the cat and NOT him, and I just turn away and sigh and wonder how long it takes for one of these chocolate dipped, electrically charged labs to reach old age when the most THEY want to do is sigh and turn over!!!!

But what can I say? I love the guy. He's got me all tied up in love knots, all washed up in slobber kisses, and just thinks I'm the best thing that ever happened in his life. Doesn't care that I'm old, fat, flabby, and can't move fast. Doesn't even care if my clothes are junkie, or if my hair is combed! He thinks that even on my worst of days in the kitchen that I'm the best cook ever, and that I live and breathe and exist just for him.

Now how many of YOU have a guy like that????

I sleep in my bed, hanging on to one side so that this chocolate kiss of a dog can sleep all stretched out on his back, head on the pillow with me, snoring away, dreaming of tomorrow's ways to drive me up the wall. I think his name should have been Riley. Or. . . . better yet. . . . for those of you who watch NCIS. . .
I think Dinozo would have matched him perfectly!

But right now, I think having him to love on is just the greatest thing. I grabbed him today, hugged him, and smooched on his chest, and just thanked God for this piece of work. After all, now I know that at I have at least TWO who love me just the way I am --- God and Buster! What more could a gal ask for in life?????

All Grown Up!

I can't believe that Buster will be 1 year old in just 8 days. In some ways, it seems like yesterday that I drove down that country driveway to see that cute, little, innocent, playful, loving puppy! In other ways. . . . .it's been the longest year of my life!

I'm used to very calm, sedate, loving, gentle Labs! Breezy, my Lab from years ago, was a quiet, gentle, lazy girl. Nothing like this tornado of destruction I have now.
If it weren't for the fact that he is sooooooo happy, loveable, and attached to me, I think I would have gotten rid of him by now. It's those eyes. . . . . .

We still have a lot of behavioral issues to work through. And what in the world are we going to do with the anxiety attacks he has when he is not velcroed to my leg? And how can I afford to keep replacing windows when he decides he doesn't like the squirrels in the yard?

Everyone says, "Give him two years. . .he'll settle down!" Well, I've aged 10 years in the past one, and I'm not sure I'll make it another year, but. . . .



I don't think I could go a day without those slobber kisses and those dreamy eyes!!!!!

Never Give Up!

I had some errands to run today, so I thought I would take Buster with me for the ride. He's been so good lately, a little more settled, and listening more intently to me when I speak to him.

I had to go and pick up a new Gentle Leader collar for him that I had ordered when attending the obedience classes several weeks ago. When I told Buster we were "going to school," he was soooo excited. He hasn't forgotten, believe me!

As we drove, Buster laid his head on my chest, and I began to pet his face as I talked to him. It all sounds so stupid now, as I'm sure he knew nothing of what I was talking about. But I told Buster how I went to look at the puppies, and this was the only chocolate one there. The man wanted to "get rid of" this lively little boy as he was getting older. I kissed Buster's head as I explained to him how much I loved that little happy boy and paid a lot of money just so he could come home with me. And then. . .he got a name all his own! And now he was special because he belonged to someone and had a name! Buster! I whispered in his ear about how bad he became, but Mommie never gave up on him, even when others told me to get rid of him. Buster gave me little kisses, as if he knew what I was saying, and I was sooooo glad at that moment that I had stuck it out through all those horrible days of puppyhood.

I just couldn't help but think of myself, leaning on my Savior, and Him telling ME how He chose me, paid a great price for me, had a name for me, and made me a member of His family. And even through the days of my rebellious times, He loved me, held on to me, and never let me go.

Somehow, I just knew how Buster felt at that moment -- loved, secure, safe, thankful, and blessed. Now, when I look at him, and he looks at me with those big brown eyes, I know we are friends forever, just as the Lord is to me.

Buster may never be the best at all the commands he was supposed to learn, but he has taught me how to love again, has given me something to wrap my arms around and hug, and those big wet kisses mean all the world to me.

Thank you, Buster, for filling my life with sunshine, bones and balls, and for teaching me that every moment of every day can be filled with exitement and fun. We made it, didn't we?

Love Conquers All!

I just can't help it! I look into Buster's eyes, and he looks back at me. . .and we both know he's here to stay. . .no matter what! I tried so hard this week with him. We spent hours and hours walking, heeling, sit, stay, come, lay down, etc., etc. And he was doing so well. . .so I thought! Last night was obedience class, and it was a disaster from the moment we got there. He was way to happy to see his friends, way to happy to be playing and watching everyone else.

There they were, all the prissy, obedient dogs walking like they were in a first class show. And Buster???? No way was HE going to act like THAT! He barked, bucked, and did nothing -- absolutely nothing -- right. So in the end conclusion, it was all a failure, because I had not taught my dog to do something on command -- Buster only did it when he felt like it.

I left the class knowing I would not be back next week, and it made me feel so ashamed, embarrassed, and like a failure. Next week is the final test and I know we are no where near testing -- we aren't even past square one!

But still, I look at Buster, and Buster looks at me. . .and I sigh and wonder can I just love him the way he is? Is there a half way meeting point where we can live together in harmony? I love him dearly and he knows it. And I see in his eyes his love and devotion to me. Maybe somewhere in all of that, we will find peace and a way to live together that is agreeable to both.

I won't give up on the training. I need him to be able to walk on a leash as he is too big and strong to be pulling me down the street. But for now, I need to ease up on the tension this has put me under.

And so, we failed the class -- two losers who love each other but can't seem to find a way to peace between us. Maybe some day when Buster is old and more sedate, I'll look back on all this fuss and wonder why I took it all so seriously! Who really cares if he ate a loaf of rye bread last night????

Update on Buster (and ME!)

Could it possibly be that Buster is finally getting the message????
I couldn't believe it when I told him we were "going to school" that he got so excited and started looking for his collar and leash! He remembered from last week. After a few days of wondering if we would be together much longer, Buster went through the paces of heel, sit, down, stay, etc., just perfectly in the driveway. We walked round and round and round until my feet gave out. But I wondered how he would do in the class!

He was so excited to go in that door. His attitude was different from other weeks -- and it showed as he wanted so much to play with all the other dogs. His attention had shifted from ME to the dogs! So had all the others, so it was a little harder to keep his attention on the commands, etc.

But wouldn't you know, Buster could have won the "most improved since last week" award if they had given those out! Not hard to win, since last week was just a big disaster. I was proud of him, to say the least. I stayed after class and got a few extra pointers on Buster's personal home behavior which I am sure will help A LOT!

As much as I have said that I need to get rid of Buster and that he is not the dog for this household, somehow he has embedded himself so deep into my heart that I know I could never let him go. I think I have vowed to myself that this is one time in my life that I am NOT giving up on something (or someone!) and I will see it through.

I am so thankful for the encouragement and personal help I've received from these trainers! I truly believe God has led me there because without them, I think I would be without Buster, my heart would be breaking ---- and so would his!

And so we begin a new week together. There is nothing more uplifting to your heart and spirit than HOPE!

When You Almost Give Up!

I just about gave up on Buster this week. And I felt so badly, I couldn't even write about it. Monday was the training class, and he did so poorly that I was embarrassed to even be there. He seemed to be so irritated with his Gentle Leader collar and the trainer checked the fit at least 3 times to see what was so distracting to Buster. He would NOT follow any commands at all. Some of the other dogs were also having problems. But, she had warned us in the beginning that by week 3 or 4 we would see our dogs hit "plateaus" as they bucked the whole training thing and we would feel like we were back at week 1. Buster and I were there.

I came home feeling those tears buring in the back of my eyes -- wondering if I could really keep Buster the way he was. Sometimes he seems almost dangerous as he is now over 70 lbs of uncontrolled wild beast coming at me. And when I see him running into Patsy (who can hardly walk now because of arthritis), I wonder if it is wise to have him here at all. But my heart loves him.

And love always finds a way, doesn't it?!!!! All week long, I have walked and walked and walked, and yes, I think we have broken through the wall and found our way to a more obedient dog. He is listening better, seems to be atuned more to what pleases me, and is following the basic commands on the leash so much better. We have a few more weeks of school left, so we will see if we pass!!!!

Bad Dog School!!!!

I know that sounds so negative, but who takes a GOOD dog to basic dog training???
Buster seems to want to be good, but the hyper-excitement, anxiety, and dominant male traits are working against him. We went to class tonight, and wouldn't you know, he got another A+ and went through his, "heel," "sit," and "stay" commands perfectly.

It was so wonderful when I first went to this class to find that all the trainers there are Christians and actually prayed for each of us that we would be successful in this class. I think I would not have had the stamina to go through with this if it were not for that little bit of encouragement that came my way.

The trainer spent time with me, asking what his problems were at home. She gave me three trial pills -- all natural, and not drugs -- to give Buster to calm him down and relieve some of his anxieties. If it works, she said it would help in the training as he would not get so anxious, and it would help ME with my frustration level with him. We'll see how this works.

I love Buster. And I would hate to have to put him through the trauma and separation anxieties of a new owner. I'm committed to giving this 100%.

And here he lays at my feet like the best puppy in the world!!!!

Surviving Puppyhood!!!

Since my sister brought up my puppy, Buster, in her last comments, I thought I would share my heart on this. What can I say????? It's been HORRIBLE!!!! I so looked forward to bringing home this loving, playful, needy Chocolate Lab that I quickly named Buster Brown. I thought all the hyper stuff would calm down as he settled in. . . .but 4 months later. . .it's worse than my worst nightmare!

Life hasn't been the same for me -- I feel I've aged 20 years in 4 months, and I must admit, sometimes I wonder if I even love this dog anymore. My last nerve has shorted out, I yell a lot, I have no more patience, and my last ray of hope is the basic dog training school I'm taking him (or should I say ME) to. He steals everything I own and makes me chase him, he still jumps up on me and the word "no" is answered with a defiant shake of the head and a bark! I did get the Gentle Leader collar and leash which seems to calm him down some, and he is doing well learning to "heel" and sit.

But in my discouragement, I wonder if I am the right "mother" for Buster. His anxiety level is so high, won't go out without me, is velcroed to my hip 24 hours a day, but i have to keep my eye on him because he is always into something. But then I look into his eyes, and I just can't give him up.

After an awful night again of being up with him, I'm wondering. . . . .