Two More to Go!

I spent the weekend with as much of my chest exposed as I could! Not a pleasant sight, believe me, but ANYTHING to make this just a little more comfortable. All I could think of were those days as a teenager when it was "in" to burn to a crisp, peel, and compare with friends whose was the worst burn. I can remember mixing iodine in my baby oil and smearing that stuff all over me just so I'd burn more than the next gal. Talk about a turkey basting!


My chest is dark purple, crusty, spots have peeled and are weeping, and I'm feeling sorry for myself. Being tired, grumpy, not hungry seems to be the normal course of things, and no one seems to give much concern at the Cancer Center except an occasional, "Oh honey, it will all be over in a little while and you're doing just fine!" If this is "just fine," I would hate to be the one who WASN'T doing fine! My oncologist was right -- he told me he didn't want to see me until it was all over because he didn't want to hear me whining, moaning, and crabbing about the burns (as he had a wicked smile on his face!)

To make matters worse, the cream is also a pain! It is Silver Sulphadiazine or something like that. It is thick and white, and I feel like I'm smearing spackle or joint compound on my chest. Not an easy task when the skin is loose and tender. Why couldn't they come up with a spray or something????? I'm sure the people who formulate this stuff have never been through the process of using it. (Oh, don't I sound like the crabby one here!!!!!)

Actually, though, I'm NOT crabby. I have my moments, but basically, I have a happy heart. I'm so glad this is almost over, that I've made it through all this without any bad reactions or terrors. I've gotten to know an 84 year old lady who gets her radiation the same time as I do, and she has been through so much. Her husband had his leg amputated a few weeks ago, and died this past Friday. She faithfully came for her treatments each day, though, and we would talk, sometimes laugh, sometimes cry, but always seeming to understand what we were both going through. I can't imagine being that old, trying to drive myself for treatments, seeing my husband dying at the same time, and then facing the rest of my life alone like that. Please pray that I will have the right words to say to her. I'm just so thankful I've done so well through all this.

Somewhere, I was reading about someone who was asked the question, "What have you learned through this cancer journey?" I can't even remember what she said, but I've been asking myself that question ever since. My list will be quite long, I'm sure. Perhaps in another post I will begin my "lessons learned."

So. . . . two more treatments to go. It will all be over after Wednesday. I don't see my oncologist until the first week in May, so it will be nice to have a break from that place. By that time, the burns will be all healed up, and he won't have to listen to me whine! He had it all figured out as to when to see me again!