Wisteria and Radiation

I can't believe how fast things change once the weather turns warm for a week or so! All the leaves are popping out on the trees --- even my Sycamore tree is showing a return to life. But the most beautiful site of all is this:

I have to say, Wisteria has to be one of my all time favorite flowers (or vine) and whenever I see it, I always stop and gaze for a while! Those sites where it has overtaken a house, or an archway, etc., is so breathtaking, and I'm hoping mine will just cover my whole fence one day.

Another week down with radiation and heat treatments! Half way through with 16 over with. I can't say that anything is sore or hurting --- there is a little redness in the area that is being treated. But I'm making sure I keep creams, etc., slathered all over it as much as I can. Kay, over at The Rustic Cottage is on a quest to come up with a "radiation cream" for me and others going through breast cancer. She makes the most wonderful soaps, lotions, creams, etc., so go over there and check her out! It seems that radiation gradually breaks down the skin to where it begins to sluff off, leaving raw, oozing "burns" at times. I'm hoping to avoid that. Most gals say that it heals up pretty fast after the treatments are over. I'll be looking forward to seeing what Kay comes up with.

The only side affect I seem to have from the radiation is being a little more tired than usual. I can handle that. But I am a little concerned about the fluctuating blood pressure. I never had problems with that before. Sometimes it's like 200/105, other times it's 130/88. The Dr. gave me pill to take each day, and an "emergency pill" for when it is over 160/100. After a while, you become obsessed with taking your blood pressure, and I've just had to put the machine away and set certain times for taking it. What is --- is! It seems that one of the main side effects to Arimidex is high blood pressure. I would hate to have to give that up, as it is the best hormone inhibitor there is for those whose cancer is hormone positive (which mine is.) I'm praying I can get the blood pressure under control and still take the pill!

Hair!!!!! It's really growing fast now. It feels like a short-haired dog's fur. I'm almost tempted to go out now with NO hat at all and just show the world my radical head! The hats are getting HOT, and since I seem to be having the sweats lately, I'll be very glad to be rid of those things! I remember when I first lost my hair, my head was soooo sensitive and I would say, "My hair hurts!" I had forgotten about that until someone mentioned their head being sensitive. I think in the midst of other horrible reactions to chemo, your head becomes the least of your complaints and you forget about that one!

The feelings I've been having have been strange ones lately as I come to the end of this cancer journey. I've looked forward so much to being rid of all this and ending all the trips to the Cancer Center, etc. But as my appointments become farther and farther apart with my oncologist (first every 2 weeks, then every 6 weeks, etc.), I have this underlying slight panic feeling that maybe I need more. . . . of what, I don't know! All the "what if's" seem to creep in. I wonder what the signs and symptoms are if the cancer shows up somewhere else, how soon, is it there now, etc. I sound pretty faithless, don't I? But all those who have been down this road seem to have those same fears. You look at all the per centages of possible return cancer and you wonder which side of those numbers you are on -- the return cancer or the cancer free.

All I can say is, cherish each day God gives you. Learn what is really important, get rid of what isn't! Take time with those you love, and nurture your relationship with the Lord. In the end, when all is said and done, isn't that really the most important thing in life?