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Friday, March 13, 2009

More of the Same!

I know it's been a while since I posted last. Whenever I sat down here at the computer, it seemed that I could only repeat my last post, as I seem to be doing the same thing day after day after day. . . .

You would think by now they would have developed something where you wouldn't have to go every single day for this radiation treatment. Get up, wait a while, shower (make sure you get all the cream off that you slathered on the day before), get dressed, last minute check for underarm odor (no deodorant allowed), drive all the way to the Cancer Center, spend 2 minutes getting the treatment, and home again. I don't know why, but it seems to ruin the whole day.

Radiation does seem to have a tiring effect on people. And I'm feeling it. I don't feel like doing anything afterwards. Sleeplessness might have something to do with that. I am having the night sweats like crazy. In fact, I'm taking ice packs to bed with me!!!!

My chest is just starting to show some redness. I've finished 11 treatments, so that's 19 more to go.

The only problem I've run into is very high blood pressure all of a sudden. I just can't believe it, as I've never had blood pressure problems before. I had my weekly check in with blood work, weight, temp, and BP taken, and the BP was sky high. My oncologist gave me a prescription for it, but said I had to find a primary care physician as he "didn't do blood pressure." So I have an appointment with someone on Monday. More running around!

And I'm getting hair! It looks very salt and pepper right now. I was hoping for some curls, but it doesn't look like that will happen. I'll be glad to be rid of the hats, that's for sure.

I have really felt guilty, though, about being a little irritated, impatient, and crabby about these radiation treatments. It's so hard to hear of others at the Cancer Center who are entering Hospice care because nothing worked for them, or to see an elderly old lady crying because her husband was getting his leg amputated that day while she was getting her treatments at the cancer center, etc., etc. The Lord has been so good to me through this journey. I guess when I'm tired, I just wish it could all be over with. . . . .!!!!!!

21 comments:

LisaShaw said...

Precious Cora, don't beat yourself up. You can be crabby at times when you need to. You are going through a serious situation BUT God is with you and His comfort, strength and peace is with you.

I am so thankful that His presence is with you. I pray for all the men and women who are dealing with this difficult disease. May they know His love, grace, healing and strength and may His comfort saturate you all in Jesus Name.

I pray for you to get some sound sleep as well. God bless you sister and know that you are dearly loved. I'm sure your hair is beautiful because you are beautiful.

PianoPlayer said...

Hi, Friend.
The cure is tough. Just eat the elephant one bite at a time.
Can't wait to see your hair. I'm glad you won't have to wear hats during the summer.
Cheryl

Dani said...

Its alright to be a little crabby....this is the last ordeal and the finish line is coming up...you know you always get exhausted by the time you're at the end of the race...hang in there...and God bless!

Jan Cline said...

I dont know you but I was lead to read your blog today. Just this morning I posted a blog that talks about breast cancer. My sister finished treatment last year - it was tough, but with prayer she came through with a good prognosis. God cares about your suffering, I know you know that. You are a brave lady.
Blessings,
Jan http://precioustimesgiftsbyjan.blogspot.com

Ruthie said...

It will be over soon - time goes slowely now, but when it is done, it won't seem like it was so long.
The Lord is really blessing you through this time - Keep looking up!
Blessings.

Oma aka Meme said...

oh my friend- so good to see you here and alas so many treatments- it is ok to have feelings - this is a hard journey - don't feel guilty-God takes each patient on a different journey and with a different ending- and I always think that papa hubby did not lose his battle -- he won!!- his healing was his home coming - God blesses us with an answer of mercy and grace and strength and He is in control and He is good-all the time - hugs and love from Meme

Joyfulsister said...

((((Hugz Sis))))
When I saw that you came to visit, I was saying Awww My dear Cora came to visit. I was waiting for you to post so I could hear how you were doing. You are truly a trooper and soldier, oh Cora I am so cheering you on and praying, praying, praying, did I say I was praying!!! You bless me and inspire me with your realness and it's okay to be crabby like Lisa said. It is not an easy journey. I'm sending a special prayer up to the throne room right now as I type. You are so loved by many and I'm your biggest fan.

Luv Ya Lorie

Wanita said...

Dear Cora, it's so good to hear from you. You've had quite a journey, and I'm praying that you'll finish strong.

Take good care of yourself, and be sure to just rest when you need to.

Blessings,
Wanita

Denise said...

Hello and nice to meet you...... I see where you are the latest to follow my blog...... I have been here a while and reading several of your posts....... Blessings of the Lord on you my sister in Christ..... I have been feeling for a few days now about the God in the Blog....... and you are a perfect example ...... I am posting on it latter tonight or in the morning........ I will put your name on my prayer list and each day will lay my hand on that book and pray in the name of Jesus.. Prayer knows no distance or time or space..... the Holy Spirit moves at will to speak to the people of God......... Prayer when spoken by the faith filled believer never comes back void...... I stand on that promise as I speak over those that God has given me to believe for..... You have been added as one of those.... so nice to meet you and I hope to have some of my prims up on another blog soon..... I will send you the link!

In Christ
Denise

Juri said...

Cor, as I hit my four year anniversay cancer free, I am going through your journey with you....and, as we discussed, there is just something about the radiation that brings you down....I cried through mine, after making it through so much worse..the surgeries, the chemo, etc...just like you! Maybe it is just the exhaustion of finally getting to the end of the road for treatment, but I think it is the horror of the "cattle call" routine in the cancer clinic with radiation....you will get through it, Sis....it will seem like a much shorter time of wasted days when you look back! I love you!

Jur

Penny @ Miss Pootsie's Primitives said...

"...let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-3

That's the scripture that came to mind after reading your latest post. Endurance...there's something about that word. The long haul... That's what you're going through. Repetition, over and over again.

But guess what????? God will hold you up, he will strengthen you! It seems to me that your new growth of hair is a turning point. New life, your body is getting through this, now I pray that God will get your mind and emotions through this, and give you a renewal of faith, an outpouring of His precious Holy Spirit Cora.

Still praying and rejoicing with you little 'glow worm'...heheee.

Love,
Penny

Femin Susan said...

perfect and beautiful words,

Oma aka Meme said...

sending hugs and prayers for your week to come- rest my friend
we are here holding you in our hearts
from your blogette friend - Meme

QuiltedSimple said...

I'm sending thoughts and prayers your way! Take care,
Kris

From Kathleen at Yesteryear Embroideries said...

Sweet Cora, bless your heart, how can you not be in the best of moods from all that you have been through? I pray you have happier and healthier days ahead! blessings,Kathleen

Lea of Farmhouse Blessings said...

I can only imagine how disruptive that is to your day, and can certainly understand you having crabby moments. Of course, yours make me so ashamed of mine. I don't have nearly the reasons!

You've been through so much and have been a shining example of faith and perserverance to me! It won't be long unti you cross that finish line and start celebrating those anniversaries.

I'm so excited that you have hair growing back. I still think it will be curly.

Love ya, Lea

Toni said...

Cora,
I`m praying that God will give you strength throughout this last phase of treatment.Keep your eyes on Him and He will give you strength and courage! Take care!Love and blessings,Toni

Mary said...

Cora, you are so beautiful in spirit! Thank you for the inspiration that you are to us. Hang in there; you will have victory. Blessings to you.

Kay @ The Rustic Cottage said...

It's ok for you to be tired of the treatments. You've been through a lot! If anyone has a right to be cranky it is you. So glad to hear you're getting hair - can't wait to see what it looks like when it grows back. My cousin got curls when hers grew back. Love you!

Linda / Behind My Red Door said...

Cora it's OK that when you don't feel good you aren't yourself. The cure is very grueling. It surely tests even the heartiest and strongest souls. So be easy on yourslef and just do what you do or don't feel like! It's OK.

hugs, Linda

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