Farrah's Story

At first, I wasn't sure I wanted to watch this documentary on Farrah's journey with cancer. So many times, the life of the rich and famous stars are sensationalized and reality is hidden, and I didn't want just another tear-jerking movie about cancer! But I watched it anyways, and I'm so glad I did. This was definitely "reality TV" in the raw!

My reactions were so mixed with some of my reactions even surprising myself. I felt so sorry for Farrah right from the beginning, and her reactions to having cancer were so typical --- surprise, fear of the future, will try anything, must be positive, etc., etc. It was all there. Only those of us who have been through the horrors of chemo could relate to what she went through. I must be honest here, though, and say truthfully that I never had the terrible nausea that she had with hers. I only had that the day after my surgery!

I must say, Farrah was much more brave than I could have ever been. There is no way I could have had those procedures done on my liver and be wide awake and in that much pain! And to think she went back for that several times over. She definitely gets ALL my respect for going through that, believe me!

I came away from this program feeling somewhat sad -- almost depressed! With all the research, and all the money that has gone into cancer just in my lifetime, it seems that not much has changed. Yes, we have better means of detection, giving patients an earlier start on treatment. And yes, we have different chemos, better and more accurate radiation treatments, and maybe surgeons are more skilled, etc. But it still boils down to cutting it out, burning it out, and/or poisoning it with chemicals! And even with all you go through, there are no promises that it's gone. It only takes ONE little cell. . . .!!!!!

Another thing that came to the surface for me was the choices we have to make as cancer patients. Farrah's choice was to seek alternative treatment in Germany. You may correct me on this if I came away with the wrong impression ---- but I gathered from what was said throughout the documentary that Farrah chose treatment in Germany because she did not want a colostomy and live with a colostomy bag, and she did not want to lose her hair as that was what made her famous. Based on those two things, she passed up tried and true treatment here in the states, did not have the standard surgery and the standard chemo for her type of cancer. These are horrible things to have to live with -- wondering if you've made the right choices, should you change doctors, should you enter trials where new and promising drugs are being tested, etc., etc. All the "what if's" are always going through your head as you fight for your life.

And I felt her pain as she waited for test results to come back. Only cancer patients seem to understand that dreaded, nagging thought that is always in the back of your mind -- "I wonder if they got it all or if it will come back?" You become paranoid with every little ache, pain, headache, cough, and so on!

I came away from Farrah's Story with a big sigh. She fought so hard! I'm not sure I would go as far as she did, but that can change at any moment when it becomes MY fight for life. It is so hard to stand on the sidelines and watch someone else fight such an enormous battle like this. In the end of it all, there's not much anyone can do to help you except to cheer you on. . . . and PRAY!

I went to bed last night and whispered a prayer of thanks to the Lord for His presence in my life and for giving me the knowledge that He walks with me through anything that comes into my life. Sometimes we do not know the purpose of these diseases and we question God's love and care with that age old question, "WHY ME???"
I'll be honest, I've asked it!!! But somewhere deep in my soul comes back the question, "Why not you?" Am I better than anyone else who has been through cancer?
Is cancer a punishment? A strike against an innocent human being from a sadistic God?
Of course not! From the moment I was born, I was destined to die. . . from something.
I did not come with a guarantee that I would be free from disease, sadness, hurts, and pains. But I did come with a gift waiting for me . . . a gift I only had to accept by faith . . . that not only would eternal life would be mine one day, but His presence would go with me through whatever life was mine here on earth!

Those of you who have accepted that gift know the peace it brings you. If you do NOT know that peace, and you do NOT know where you would spend eternity if you were to die today, let me know and I would be honored to tell you all about it!