Last Thursday, I finally went for my PET scan. It's always a nerve-wracking thing to do, believe me. Not because it's scarey or hurts, etc., ---- it's just that you dread hearing the results. And even that is strange, because you want the results immediately, if not sooner, but there is still that dread that you might hear the worst of the worst. But they won't tell you a thing!!! Not even a hint! Just lovely, smiling faces tht tell you, "Your doctor will call you if he needs to talk with you about your scan. Have a nice day!" And so you go home, wondering, praying for the best, dreading the worst, and again wondering where all that faith is. . . .!!!!
I've come to the place where I call breast cancer the "What If" disease! There are just way too many gray areas. Too many things left unanswered. Too many "wait and see" issues. Too many statistics. Every headache, pain, cramp, lump, bump, etc., becomes a "What if" and you feel more paranoid than you ever thought possible. Add to that, waiting for the test results to a PET scan is pure torture! It just shouldn't be! Supposedly, if they don't call, everything is OK and there's nothing to worry about. But then, the "What if's" start in: What if the Dr. didn't see that piece of paper and it's buried on his desk? What if someone forgot to call me? What if he's on vacation? And so, we're back to the "What if" game???? It got so bad that I actually thought that maybe he just isn't calling because I'll see him on the 20th anyways and then he'll give me the bad news that it's hopeless and there's nothing he can do for me! Now THAT is what I call stretching the imaginary scenerios to the limit, don't you think??????
So. . . Here it is Wednesday. I've been waiting since Thursday. Can I breathe yet?
I couldn't stand it this morning. I called the cancer center and asked. I just know that some gal answering the phone is going to get that huge rubber stamp out of her desk drawer today and the bright red ink pad and stamp on the cover of my chart, "HIGH MAINTENANCE PATIENT!!!!" You know, those patients that call constantly about everything from a runny nose to a stubbed toe! But I didn't care today. I just think the "No call if everything is ok" policy stinks!
So the gal on the other end of the phone says, "I'll pull your chart and have a nurse call you back with the results." It's been an hour. . . .. no call back yet!
Have you ever had a PET scan? I've often wondered how they come up with these things. The night before and the day of the scan, you can't eat or drink any carbs or suger, etc. 6 hours before the scan, nothing. Then, when you get there, they give you a shot of radioactive glucose. You wait for about 40 minutes to an hour for this to go through your system. Next, you lay on a plank, knees bent, arms over your head, and you go through an arch. I thought it was a tunnel at first, but it is open at each end and short enough that my head and/or feet were hanging out each end. Not as clostrophobic as you might think. The first pass through the "arch" is a CT scan that shows the skeletal system. This is fast. The second pass takes about 20 - 30 minutes. This one shows the rest of everything that's inside of you. The radioactive glucose has now circulated throughout your body, and cancer cells are grabbing onto the glucose because they are VERY hungry by now. So. . . if there is anything cancerious in your body, it will light up like a Christmas tree on the scan results.
I had my first PET scan back in February and nothing showed up then. I'm still sitting here wondering about this one. . . . ??????!!!!!!!
UPDATE!!! The Cancer Center just called to let me know that NOTHING showed up on the PET Scan! THANK YOU, LORD!!!! I wonder if I added up all the time I spent worrying about this in the past two weeks or so, how much time I actually wasted?????? To say NOTHING of how much I heaped on others with all my whining and worrying about all the "what if's!" Next time I start with all this and whine to ya'll, just tell me to stuff a sock in it, won't you????? Seriously, though, I do appreciate all your prayers for me. Thank you from the cockles of my heart!!!!! (When I was a kid, my pastor referred to "the cockles of his heart" and I always wondered what "cockles" were! Does anyone know????) I just Googled it, and if you really have to know, click here:
Day by Day # 21
2 hours ago