Monday, April 13, 2009

Two More to Go!

I spent the weekend with as much of my chest exposed as I could! Not a pleasant sight, believe me, but ANYTHING to make this just a little more comfortable. All I could think of were those days as a teenager when it was "in" to burn to a crisp, peel, and compare with friends whose was the worst burn. I can remember mixing iodine in my baby oil and smearing that stuff all over me just so I'd burn more than the next gal. Talk about a turkey basting!

My chest is dark purple, crusty, spots have peeled and are weeping, and I'm feeling sorry for myself. Being tired, grumpy, not hungry seems to be the normal course of things, and no one seems to give much concern at the Cancer Center except an occasional, "Oh honey, it will all be over in a little while and you're doing just fine!" If this is "just fine," I would hate to be the one who WASN'T doing fine! My oncologist was right -- he told me he didn't want to see me until it was all over because he didn't want to hear me whining, moaning, and crabbing about the burns (as he had a wicked smile on his face!)

To make matters worse, the cream is also a pain! It is Silver Sulphadiazine or something like that. It is thick and white, and I feel like I'm smearing spackle or joint compound on my chest. Not an easy task when the skin is loose and tender. Why couldn't they come up with a spray or something????? I'm sure the people who formulate this stuff have never been through the process of using it. (Oh, don't I sound like the crabby one here!!!!!)

Actually, though, I'm NOT crabby. I have my moments, but basically, I have a happy heart. I'm so glad this is almost over, that I've made it through all this without any bad reactions or terrors. I've gotten to know an 84 year old lady who gets her radiation the same time as I do, and she has been through so much. Her husband had his leg amputated a few weeks ago, and died this past Friday. She faithfully came for her treatments each day, though, and we would talk, sometimes laugh, sometimes cry, but always seeming to understand what we were both going through. I can't imagine being that old, trying to drive myself for treatments, seeing my husband dying at the same time, and then facing the rest of my life alone like that. Please pray that I will have the right words to say to her. I'm just so thankful I've done so well through all this.

Somewhere, I was reading about someone who was asked the question, "What have you learned through this cancer journey?" I can't even remember what she said, but I've been asking myself that question ever since. My list will be quite long, I'm sure. Perhaps in another post I will begin my "lessons learned."

So. . . . two more treatments to go. It will all be over after Wednesday. I don't see my oncologist until the first week in May, so it will be nice to have a break from that place. By that time, the burns will be all healed up, and he won't have to listen to me whine! He had it all figured out as to when to see me again!


Anonymous said...

I am sending prayers for your speedy recovery Cora. You have an amazing attitude! And you are so right - no matter how bad out situation, someone inevitably has it worse, as you learned with your little old lady.
Stay strong! And smack that oncologist for saying he didn't want to listen to you whining! :)

Ruthie said...

Glad you're almost done.
Hang in there. Glad there's a lady there for you to be a blessing to....a real ministry for you for sure.

Winlynn said...

God Bless You. Maybe it was my blog you were reading! Cancer has taught me so very much! Like I actually look good in short hair! Try Aquaphor for your skin, that is what my radioligist swore by.

Michelle Goforth said...

Well, my heart just breaks for that older lady who lost her husband. I will be praying for her. And I totally get the crabbiness. Sometimes we just lose our focus. We don't keep the main thing the main thing. Jesus. But He knows we are human, he created us afterall. I'm sure He looks down on you even then and says "There's my beautiful, crabby Cora. HA.

"Just Me - NC Beth" said...

Praying that even in your time of "whining", God will use you to be a Blessing to the older lady.

Praying for quick healing for you, too!


whimseycreations said...

You absolutely don't sound crabby! I hurt just looking at you. Blessings honey chile and I'm sure you are blessing that elderly lady with your words too. Hugs!

Farm Chick Paula said...

Hang in there, Cora- you've almost got it licked now!
I'm praying for your strength and for relief from the burns... and I will also be remembering your little friend who has faced so much the last few weeks.

Toby Parsons said...

Oh Cora! God bless you. Your sweet spirit is simply amazing. You are such a light for Him. I know that God will give you the exact words to say to the elderly lady.

I have to ask. Is your oncologist totally lacking in bedside manners?

I will continue praying for you continually Cora. I will add your new elderly friend as well.

Many blessings to you and over you dear Cora.

Denise said...

I am so sorry and so move with your pain..... I will pray for you tonight and ask to Father to speed up the healing.. Bless your heart and hold fast to the promises that HE give..........

Jill said...

Just hang in there can do it. Sending you gentle cyber hugs.

Joyfulsister said...

Hi Sis,
Ypu don'r know how much I wish I could come and visit you. I know Praying for you is all I can do for now, but there are certain sistahs I wish I could just felowship with in person, Such as you and Juri. But I'm here and just a click or an email away.
If you ever need to just chat I can give you my number it would be so nice to hear you're

Luv Ya Lorie

Char5 said...

I would worry about you if you didn't have moments of crabbiness. You have been through quite a journey this past year. I am so glad that the treatments are at an end and am continuing to pray that God will send His healing quickly to you. You are one of the strongest ladies that I know, physically and spiritually, thank you for sharing this experience with us. I am also praying for your friend at the treatment center.
Hugs from WV,

Primitives By The Light of The Moon said...

Cora~ I'm glad it's almost over for you. You have held your chin high even through the lows. I'll be keeping you in my prayers for a speedy recovery and also the lady you met.

Toby Parsons said...

Hi again Cora. :)

I am copying the following quote from a sermon that a freind of mine's pastor gave. This particular friend is battling stage 4 breast cancer as well. She just had her first chemo treatment last Thursday. She still has 2 young children at home, around ages 5 and 7. She wrote this quote in her daily journal that is published on-line and I thought you might find comfort in it as well. :)

"...not that suffering is not weighty but the love of God is weightier"!!!

I hope today is showing you much less pain and touching you with with God's love and grace.

The Whites said...

I'll pray for some easing of your pain! You are such an inspiration - keep you chin up!


Julie said...

I've heard it said before that if everyone threw their problems in a pile and got to pick, we would pick our own because someone always seems to have greater trials. I'm sure you have been a blessing to the lady who is there. Life sure isn't fair. Congrats on wrapping things up----may you be blessed. Julie

Shabby Olde Potting Shed said...

Oh Miss Cora that DOES look sore!
You're almost done.. Hang in there!
Bet that woman you set by at the clinic LOVES you so. I just prayed for her as well; bless her Lord!!
Eagle wings!

jen's farmily said...

The strength of the older woman amazes me. Like you said, going through radiation AND losing your husband. I can't imagine.

YOUR strength amazes me too. Cancer is a scary thing and you're living it. I hope your last two treatments go quickly!!

LisaShaw said...

Cora, you have gone through so much and my arms embrace you as do my prayers. God grace is carrying you through and I am so thankful to Him.

Bless you dear sister.

Grama's Gourds and Primitives Linda Akin said...

Cora your a strong woman and it's ok to be crabby...You will be bouncing back soon. Hugs and prayers to you...
Love ya bunches

Nancy M. said...

I can't really say I blame you for whining. It's wonderful that you have a good attitude! I know it must be trying at times. I'm so glad it's almost over! I hope you'll be feeling better soon!

Beemoosie said...

You are an amazing woman! You are in my prayers!

katie said...

Praise the Lord your radiation treatments are over.
Praying for your healing as well as the woman you have been blessed with meeting.
Try Aquaphor on your burns, worked very well for me.
I finished my 2-28 and am now begining to feel like my old self again. The tiredness will fade away. Carry on in his love

Lea of Farmhouse Blessings said...

Continually praying for you dear friend. So glad that you're almost done the treatments. I think you have a marvelous spirit!

Love ya!

Lesa said...

Oh my you poor thing. That looks so maddeningly sore. I found virgin coconut oil soothing but I did not burn like you either. {{{Gentle hugs}}} Shine on!

Daria said...

Cora, my heart goes out to you. That looks awful. I pray it doesn't hurt as bad as it looks but I know better.

Linda / Behind My Red Door said...

Hi Cora,

Well they should be over now if yesterday was the Wednesday you were talking about. I hope you start healing from the burns quickly so that pain is no longer a problem. Praying for you!

hugs, Linda

SweetAnnee said...

What an ucky burn..and what ucky cream they gave you.
I have biofine made by Neutrogena and I didn't get anywhere close to that burn.. That cream is a prescription, ask your doc.

Didn't want to hear you whine.. KicK his BUTT!! then give him an evil grin.

I think radiation is CRAPPY, made me sooooo as much as you can..and eat to live.
ask for pain med!!! it looks like it hurts.
love ya

Toby Parsons said...

Praying. :)

KathyB. said...

WoW! I find this post uplifting....sure you are crabby about the pain! You still sound way more upbeat than I would! And isn't pain nature's way of telling us there is something on or in our body needing attending to? And isn't pain often our bodies' way of letting us know healing is happening?

I like the way you put your ordeal into perspective with the other older lady and life! And glad you are almost done with your treatment! I'll be praying!

BTW, I sent a friend going through chemo to your blog a few months ago, she did find comfort here! Honest struggles brought into focus by faith!

Kay @ The Rustic Cottage said...

I am so sorry that you've been in so much pain!! It will soon be over and you skin will start to heal. I'm still praying.

Toni said...

I`ll continue to pray for you.This journey has been a long one for you,I know.It`s almost over though!! God has grown you so much through this trial.I`ve seen it.
We have friends that recently moved away.She just found out she has breast cancer.I guess it`s very fast moving.I don`t really know any more since I havn`t spoken to her personally.I know that she said that she is trusting God and if it`s His will to take her then she is ready to go home.That really braught a tear to my eye.How encouraging.Anyway,i plan on sending her a link to your site,if you don`t mind.I really thing you would be a great encouragement to her.
Have a blessed day!Love ya!

Maryjane - The Beehive Cottage said...

My heart goes out to you sweet Cora and I will continue to keep you in my prayers! You have come along ways!

Love ya,

Oma aka Meme said...

praying for you and I am so glad that your treatment is coming to an end=soft hugs - you are such a brave lady and certainly have blessed many of us in the blog world- hugs from Meme

Renee said...

I am soooooooo sorry that you have had to go through this extreme burns from radiation. Big hugs are being sent your way, my friend.