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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

It Just Ain't Right!

I knew this day was coming for a while now. And I dreaded it. I mean ---- how many women look forward to going “Boob Shopping?” Not something that pops up regularly in your day-planner, is it?????

But it had to be. You see, I poked a hole in my Boob. It happened a couple of months ago. I always tried to be so careful when putting that thing into the bra. There is a nice, little 1-inch hole in the pocket of the bra cup into which you have to get this 3 pound, cantelope sized boob form. Add to that, it is like a thin skinned balloon filled with silicone gel and a finger nail can go right through it. Add to that, it costs about $369.00.

So. . . Rather than run right out and get a new boob, I got my packing tape out and did a repair job. It did the job until the other day, when the whole thing just went rrrrrrrrrrrip! Since I had to go out, I got the tape out AGAIN and held life together for a little while longer. It’s amazing what a little tape can do to get you through the hard times in life!!!

But today. . . I knew the time had come. In the back of my mind, I just knew that one of these days that thing would burst like a water balloon and I’d be in big trouble. It would most likely happen in a public place, like church or something, and I would never be able to show my face again. So for my own peace of mind, I broke down and went for it.

It’s been two and a half years since my mastectomy. I can hardly believe that much time has past. At first, I thought, “What’s all the fuss about? Who really cares?” I’m 63 years old, so “looks” didn’t seem that important anymore. I was just glad the whole ordeal was over and if it cost a boob, so be it! But I have noticed that I’m becoming more self-conscious about it. I almost never look in the mirror at myself --- it’s too freakish and “It just ain’t right!” I just can’t imagine what younger women go through. It must be the hardest thing in the world to find some form of normal in all of it.

“Normal” for me today cost over $400.00. A boob and a bra. I don’t think I’ve ever spent $400.00 on any one piece of clothing, pair of shoes, purse, etc., ever. But just to look “normal,” I did. Yes, I’ll be reimbursed for a little of that, but even if I didn’t get anything, I would have paid the price. It just ain’t right!

13 comments:

dsblanchard said...

Dear Cora,

This is a very brave post. I can't imagine going through all this and hope I never have to, but, should the need ever arise, I now have your personalized story tucked safely away in my memory banks.

I heard a woman with bipolar disease tell her story as the keynote speaker at a mental health conference in the midwest some years ago. She was fabulous, not poised or sparkling in her presentation, but deep down, desperately serious as she told us how she just wanted to be normal. I thought of her when I read your thoughts this evening. She said where most people want to stand out, be famous, gain notoriety; all she wanted was to be normal. I never forgot that!

I thank God that you have found a way to regain some sense of normalcy, and that you had the courage to post this helpful piece which may just enable others to move ahead for theirs.

Praying God's peace will surround you,
Dawn

PS I felt your pain when you shared about the buzzard poop over at Craig's. Black raspberries are in and we have to deal with the deep purple bird poop here. Just sayin'!

Kristin Bridgman said...

Dear Cora,
I'm so glad you are healthy and can write a post like this. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. I would so love to be your next door neighbor. I would have gone shopping with you and we could have laughed or cried together and then went out for tea and told each other, "it just ain't right"! And then praised the Lord for your health!
Thank you for sharing this. Who knows who this will help, maybe even me some day. You make me smile:)

mellmo said...

Thank you for this post and sorry you had to go through this today. You have help me so much through my chemo process and I thank you for that!

nancy huggins said...

I am glad you finally bit the bullett and got it over with Cora and I am sure you will feel a little better now. I remember when you could buy a fairly nice car for $400.00...it is a shame to have to pay that much and I am sure whoever invented it is sitting on a island somewhere drinking a tall cool drink...why can't we come up with something that people need for big bucks...your right..It Just Ain't Right :)
Go to my blog and enter my give away...won't coat a single penny

"Just Me - NC Beth" said...

Cora, I think you gave most of us...especially me...a little more insight of what goes on in the life of someone who has had a mastectomy...yet, whether we want to admit it or not, appearance is pretty important to all of us.

Thanks for sharing this....

~Beth

Maryann said...

Cora,
Part of me wanted to laugh (packing tape repair) part of me wanted to cry. I went the route of reconstruction and even with that you don't feel totally normal. I'll never forget the day I went bra shopping for the first time after my surgery and had a melt down right in the lingerie department. (poor sales lady didn't know what to do, or why I was crying) Getting easier and I hope it does for you as well.
Blessing to you

Lisa Maria said...

Cora, when I was young I used to wish I could cut off my boobs because they were bigger than other people my age had (I got boobs at age 10) and always made me self-conscious. As I got older and wiser I started praying that God wouldn't grant that foolish wish I had in my youth.

Thank you for sharing your story.. it takes a lot of courage. I cannot imagine going through what you have, but God gives us strength to bear.. if He takes us to it, He'll see us through it.

God Bless!

Lea said...

Cora, I love your transparency and how you share what you've went through to help others. You are a TRUE inspiration- and you already know you are "my" Mentor.

Glad you got your new booble! The cost does seem expensive but girl, ... you're worth is PRICELESS. I love ya!!

Jennifer said...

I loved your post today, Cora! Hilarious and sobering at the same time. Sometimes we just have to laugh about the insanity of it all, don't we?

Debra said...

I love you Cora.

Kathleen From Yesteryear Embroideries said...

Bless your heart. It's not right that these thing are so expensive. But I am so thankful that you, my friend, are here and able to go out and about to buy these things!

Dani said...

Can't even imagine....that is so expensive...is that the only type available? I think on Etsy, there are crafters who make light weight boobs to insert in a bra..just saying, got to be cheaper....but I am so thankful you are healthy and well...so much to be grateful for..

Anonymous said...

Cora,

Thank you for sharing this so bravely. Your courage is inspiring and your vulnerability helps pull down walls of silence over difficult or painful topics.

I have not been through this particular experience, but if I had or do, you would be one I would feel I could talk with about it. You make it easy to talk about tough things.

A.