Becoming

Dear Lord,

Somehow, please help them to understand,
Because right now,
In all my confusion,
Disappointments,
And searching,
I don’t even
Understand
Myself.

Help them to understand
I’m struggling ---
And struggling hard ---
To find the answers ---
Your answers ---

To questions I don’t know
How to ask,
And sometimes,
I’m not even sure
I know the questions
Knawing at my soul.

Somehow, Lord, please help them to understand --
I want your best
For me
And those I love.
It seems right now
The things I thought
You chose as best
Are not;
Yet, still,
I cannot find
Just what it is
That will replace
My best with Yours.

Somehow, Lord, please, somehow --
There must be someone who understands;
Someone brave enough,
Someone who cares enough
To hug me and to say,
“I understand,
I’ve been there,
I’ll walk the road again
And see you through.”

Somehow, dear Lord, help me
To help them understand.
I’m so afraid
Of sharing all the depths
Of all that hurts,
Of all that doubts,
Of all that yearns and thirsts
For something more.
It hurts when those
Who do not care
Turn away from me
As if I were diseased.
Help them to understand
I need to struggle
And struggle hard
To become ---
Oh, Father,
To become what?

That’s it, Oh Lord,
That’s all they need to understand ---
I want no more
And be assured,
I want no less,
Than to become
Like YOU!

Not high,
Not mighty,
Not lofty,
Or above them;

Not more spiritual,
Not more wise,
Only more like You.

Help them to understand, dear Lord,
I need some time --
Time alone --
Yet,, not alone --
For oh, that they could know
How I yearn for their support
And love,
And yes,
Even an understanding tear.

I’ll do my best --
I have no other choice.
I’ve weighed my options,
Counted all the costs ---
And turning back ---
(back to what?) --
Is not one option
I cannot think about.
I’ll do my best
To learn the unlearned art
Of becoming. . .

Becoming patient
Of those who think
Pat answers always work.

Becoming loving
Of those who are unlovely.

Becoming compassionate
Of those who turn away.

Becoming lovely
And beautiful,
And endearing
To those who say
Unlovely things.

Becoming ---
Oh Father,
I never knew
It would be so hard
To become
Just a little more
Like You!

--Cora Eelman

Continuing counting my grace gifts. . . .

585. Sales on pork roasts, fish, veggies, and even my favorite bread.

586. Cooler weather after a long, hot summer.

587. Watching leaves lose their grip on their branch and slowly dance to the ground.

588. Birds who seem to know within seconds that I have filled their feeder.

589. A diet that works for me (Weight Watchers.)

590. Buster, who doesn't care if I'm fat as long as I'm happy and not crabby.

591. Sharing recipes with friends and finding encouragement and support.