He Loves Me Still!

I really wanted to quit blogging, take my blog down, and leave this strange, wonderful world. But I couldn't! I've made some of the most wonderful friendships I've ever had here --- soul friends who are walking the same paths, striving for the same things, hurting deeply in the same ways, and rejoicing with the same songs. I weep when one leaves, as I feel that empty place they leave within my heart. All of you inspire me with the depths of your writing, the earnestness of your walk with the Lord, and the greatness of your desire to be the women (and men!) God wants to mold of you. I've been changed by all of this. Deeply changed. Recently, I've watched and listened to a struggling heart. I've prayed for peace, insight, and wisdom for this one. I've thanked Him for the victories, the smiles, and the light on this one's path. I'm amazed at the depth of her soul and her willingness to share it. My dear one, you know who you are, and this is for you:

He Loves Me Still

I bend, my strength is all but gone to stand against the wind.
A wind, relentless with intent that I should break,
And fall into the mire of guilt and shame.
My weakness cries it’s more than I can take.
More than this frailest form can cling and hold,
And roots I thought were deeper than the sea
Now ripping, losing hold within my heart,
And scattered at my feet, all splintered dreams of what I thought was me.

He sees me there, a spineless wreck, holding in these hands my fractured self.
I dare not look, my shame is pushing down this bent and broken child.
He knows where I’m most weak, and likely to be broken in the storm,
That storm that comes again, and still again, raging in the darkness strong and wild.
And yet, He loves me still, so much, He lifts His nail-scarred, loving hands
And cups my tear-stained face, then lifting mine to His,
What cost Him all and everything flows through this heart of mine -
Forgiveness! Can it be He loves me still, even after all of this?

Cora Eelman