Monday, November 3, 2008

Daybook Entry for November 3, 2008


FOR TODAY (November 3, 2008)...

Outside My Window It's a sunny, fall day, not like you get up north, but what we call "Fall" here in Florida! I really miss the vibrant colors of the trees in the northern states. I can remember as a kid bringing red, yellow, and orange leaves to school, putting them between wax paper, and ironing them so the wax would melt on the leaves, preserving the leaf and it's color. I had such creative teachers and we made cards with these leaves to take home for our parents! I was so proud to see mine tacked up on the door!!!! Here in Florida, oak leaves are turning brown and falling slowly, as are the acorns!

I am thinking. . . About seasons! How things change, come and go. . . how I've changed through the seasons of life, changing still. . . I hope for the better. Right now, I feel like my Sycamore tree outside my window -- leaves turning brown, shriveling up around the edges, but hanging on as long as possible!

I am thankful for This past week! An extra week to rest up, gain back some strength, eat some normal meals again. My taste has been so "off" with this chemo that my selection seems so limited!

From the kitchen... Some left over potatos augratin with broccoli, etc. Not enough left to have alone, so I'll have to come up with something to go with it.

I am wearing... Black slacks, maroon tee shirt, barefoot, bald head!

I am creating... Nothing! I saw some patterns for some primitive stitcheries that I would love to make, but right now. . . . it's all I can do to get done what I have to do.

I am going... Probably some grocery shopping, drug store, post office.

I am reading... Nothing. Can't focus or concentrate on anything. I think the name for it is "Chemo Brain Fog!"

I am hoping... I do ok with Chemo #5 this Wednesday. I made the decision to go ahead with at least one more. I'm feeling better, the breathlessness seems to be gone for now, and I worry more about the "what if's" if I DIDN'T get it than the "what if's" if I DID! So the scale tips towards getting the chemo!

I am hearing... Nice, quiet hymns playing in the background on my computer. Buster snoring behind me. Acorns rolling off the roof.

Around the house... Making a mental list of what I need to do before Wednesday. Wash bedding and clothing, make sure ebay stuff is taken care of, and any other housework I feel I can still do.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week. . . Haven't really thought past Wednesday and chemo. I'll be so glad when all this is over with and life gets some sort of "normality" back to it. I feel like everything revolves around these chemo treatments. Not that I'm not thankful ---- I truly am, as the alternative seems very black and hopeless. These miracle chemos have saved so many lives (and probably mine, too), but going through it is sooooo hard. Strange how I've come to DREAD it, yet, don't want to give it up for fear it has not done it's complete job yet.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

I've always admired the people who have participated in these walks to raise money for a cure for breast cancer. But you know, until you go through this yourself, you just don't know what it means. I used to wonder at the emotions shown at these events, but until you have gone through this yourself, or had a loved one or friend who has gone through it. . . . you just don't know. This past weekend, I watched as the news showed the 3 day walk in Tampa, FL. I have no idea how they walked that far, as I can hardly make it across my yard to my sister's house! I can only say a big THANK YOU to anyone out there who has given of their time, money, emotions, blisters, and tears for those of us who go through this thing. PLEASE, for your own sake, get your mammograms!!!!!

I'm so glad to be able to participate with the others in this Notebook entry. You can visit The Simple Woman's blog



Linda said...

Wishing you the strength to get through this next Chemo and that it surprises you and doesn't knock you down as hard this time. We can hope, can't we? Sending lots of hugs and prayes, Linda

Claudia said...

I've never been able to participate in a rally yet, but it's true that once you go through cancer, those rallies mean so much. I hear about them and see them and I cry and cry buckets because another person will be helped because people out there are fighting...for US!

I'm praying for you in and out of your chemo. I know the strength it takes to go and have more. I admire the strength in others even more now that I've gone through my treatment. I remember making my mind go blank and just saying, "Let's just do this" and then praying and praying and praying all the way through each treatment.

Now I pray for you.


*Linda Pinda* said...

Cora: It was great visiting with you today :)

I finally started doing the Simple Woman's daybook entry!!! Only took me, what? half a year???

Glad to finally be a part of it with my dear friends. I so love reading your reflections each Monday...

Hugs & Prayers... *Linda*

Renna said...

Cora, I remember putting fall leaves between waxed paper like that, too. I hadn't thought of it in so many years!

Just keep taking life and chores one day at a time, but let your faith leap to the future and dream about the things you'll be able to do once you're well.

Wanita said...

Cora, Praying for strength for you as you go through the next chemo session.


Melinda said...

Cora, we will add you to our prayers here. My sister battled breast cancer last year and had a terrible time with the chemo. She had to discontinue hers after only two sessions, but is thankfully now cancer free! Prayers coming your way for a total recovery!

Anonymous said...

Love the wax paper and leaves! I wish the best for you and your last treatment Cora! You are in my prayers! Many Blessings to you!

Stacy Lambert said...

I get my 3rd chemo Wed., too. I'll be thinking of you and praying. Hang in there. Some day this will all be a memory. I have not had such bad days as you've described, yet. I wish I could be there to help you through your day. Please know my thoughts and prayers are. Hugs, Stacy

elizabeth said...

One thing I love about the blogging world is how the Lord sees fit to bring us to different people. I've not visited you before, but am glad I stopped by today. You will definitely be in my prayers.

Lea of Farmhouse Blessings said...

Thanks for reminding me about wax paper and leaves, Cora! I had forgotton about doing that as a child. I think that will be my art project with Colton tomorrow.

I am so thankful that your breathlessness has subsided. We'll just keep praying here that positive continues.

We're here loving you and praying for your wellness!

Lea and family

Julie said...

Hoping that you are comfy and doing well. Will pray for you for Wednesday. You are SO BRAVE!!! julie

Marilyn - A Mixed Bouquet said...

I'm still praying for you!

Love the photo as it is so powerful.