Til the Storm Passes By!

As the clouds gather this evening and the hurricane draws near, I always wonder. . . .will this be THE ONE that gets us????? I've been through a lot of them here in Florida, some pretty bad, others. . . . a windy poof of a day! But never like the one that hit New Orleans, or Andrew, or others that flattened whole communities. This is not predicted to be a bad one, so I'm not too worried. But this is always my song at times like these! Please scroll to the bottom of the page and turn off my music before starting the video!

Daybook Entry for August 18, 2008

FOR TODAY (August 18, 2008)...

Outside My Window I'm watching the storm clouds gather. The hurricane path that is predicted seems to have been drawn right over my house! I've been through a lot of these, so I'm prepared with candles, lanterns, oil lamps, water, etc. But looking out my window, I worry about two things: I hope my sycamore tree is strong enough to withstand the winds of the storm, and I wonder if the wasp nest on my window will survive. I love my Sycamore tree! My sister gave it to me as a gift years ago. It came with a stick to hold it straight and tall, and it stayed tied to that stick for a long time. But as it towered upward, it broke away, now standing proud with very wide, shady limbs. This will be its first test of strength if this hurricane hits us full force!

I am thinking. . . I don't pass the storm and wind test too often!.

I am thankful for...Increasing strength! Went to the Cancer Dr. today for a check up. Gave them more blood (They must have a gallon by now!), got weighed (lost 9 lbs!), etc. He did look at the tumor site and the notorious hole there and wouldn't say whether it had shrunk any or not. But when he prodded and dug into my armpit, he did say that whatever is under there has definitely shrunk. I'm thankful for that!

From the kitchen... Eggplant parmasean! A favorite of mine!.

I am wearing... Very little! The HOT flashes are horrid!

I am creating... Something new with my stitcheries! Can't wait to get started on it!

I am going... Nowhere. I've been to the grocery store today and that took everything out of me. Stocked up on munchies just in case the storm takes out the electricity. Isn't it funny, as soon as the lights go out, I'm hungry!

I am reading... Nothing! If blogs count, then that's what I've been reading. I have found some of the most wonderful, encouraging, God-centered blogs that have just lifted me up and I can't begin to thank all of you who share your hearts like this. I would have never believed that blogs could be used of God the way they are.

I am hoping... I'm not disappointed if I have to have more than the 4 chemo treatments the nurses told me I was going to have. The Dr. today said he said no such thing and it will all depend on how I respond to each treatment!

I am hearing... PeeWee crying for his dinner!

Around the house...There is so much to do. It's closing in on me.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week. . . Get myself ready in advance for next Wednesday's chemo treatment. I'll do everything I can in advance so I don't feel guilty or upset when I'm under that 18 wheeler again.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater.
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase.
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace

When we have exhausted our store of endurance
And our strength has failed e'er the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
The Father's full giving is only begun

His love has no limit. His grace has no measure,
His power has no boundary known unto man.
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
-Annie Johnson Flint

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I'm so glad to be able to participate with the others in this Notebook entry. You can visit The Simple Woman's blog HERE!

Another Great Giveaway!

Linda over at Behind My Red Door is having a super great giveaway, as you can see from the picture above. Linda is just the sweetest, greatest person, and her blog is a reflection of her heart, for sure. And if you are into primitive decorating, you will for sure want to go through ALL her posts and tour her beautifully decorated home.

Thanks, Linda, for having this giveaway! You are a doll!!!!

PS: Be sure to tell her that I sent you -- I get an extra ticket in the drawing if you do!

Day Nine -- and Feeling Much Better!!!!

OK, so I'm not this perky -----




------ but I am feeling so much better than I did a few days ago. I'm humming, but not singing like that, for sure!

I keep waiting for my hair to start falling out, but so far, it is still well rooted. I tried pulling -- nothing yet. I'm all set, though, with my hats!!! And I think I just might get a buzz cut when it starts instead of putting up with clumps of hair all over the place.

My legs still feel like stretched out, worn rubber bands, but I'm getting around ok. Couldn't stand the chicken coop feeling yesterday, so blew the coop and went for fresh veggies and fruit and some wonderful fresh Italian sausage for supper. Cooked it up with peppers, onions, roasted red peppers, and cherry tomatoes! Was it ever good over Amish hearty wide noodles!!!! Food fit for a Queen!

Did have a scare a few days ago with horrible chest cramps and body cramps. Like a full body charlie horse. I think I messed up by not drinking enough and by the next day, that was gone. I think I'll be drinking A LOT from now on!



Chemo symptoms are strange. Things come and go. Just when I begin to whine and moan about a new "ailment", that goes and something else starts. I'm trying to make note of it all so I'll be prepared for the next roll down the mountain!!!!!

Today I've been listing some things on ebay, and also got some wash done and some cleaning, so that made me feel like I got something accomplished.

There is life after chemo!!!!!

Day Six After First Chemo!

OK! I'm not the bravest person on the planet. But I think I walked into this with a little too much confidence as to how I would be feeling. Let's put it this way: On a scale of 1 to 10, with a 10 being the best you've ever felt and 1 the worst, I have to say this rated a -10. But then again, you have to understand that I've never really been sick before. No major flu bug, no operations, no illnesses, etc. So what do I have to compare to?????

Day one and two were ok. Day three was down hill all the way. I felt washed out, my legs wouldn't hold me up, hot flashes that were beyond HOT -- more like blazing, heart pounding fast and hard, and just wanting to sleep but couldn't. Add on top of that, a roaring toothache, and we have the icing on the cake.

Since Buster won't go out without me, I have to somehow find my way to the back door with him and plop in the chair I have out there. But there must be something about chemo breath or chemo on the skin because one million mosquitos are waiting for me when I get there. Poor Buster. It takes him time like any old man to do his business, but meanwhile, I'm mosquito bait yelling at him like crazy. It would almost be easier to clean it up off the floor! But he does seem to know I'm not the usual crabby me and this is different. Love his little chocolate kisses right now!

It's a good thing there are three weeks between treatments. I've wondered the past few days how ANYONE goes back for #2, no less more and more and more. I know the oncologist told me that my reactions might be severe because of the size of the dosage being given me. And I accepted that ok. Just didn't expect an 18 wheeler to roll over me and flatten me out like this. I have to say, right now, my looking forward to the next chemo feels like this:



When I went to the class about chemo, they told me that after day 7 you begin to climb back up in strength and how you feel. Even today, I'm feeling a lot better, so I am so grateful for that. Happy, too, that I didn't have any allergic reactions to the chemo, or side affects that I couldn't handle. I guess I can take the "flu like symptoms" once every three weeks for a while if it means in the long run, this thing will be cured.

Sorry I took so long to update here. This is my first day upright for a while and it feels good!

For these things, I thank you, Lord:
62. Knowing that friends are praying for me, holding me up when I can't stand upright!
63. Pudding!
64. Birds singing outside my window!
65. My sister's help and caring and understanding through all of this.
66. Scripture verses I learned as a child that somehow come back when I need them!
67. God meeting all my needs in the midst of trials!--------

Best ever Funnel Cakes!

Whenever I get one of these reports from my sister in New Jersey, I think it's worth posting!!!!

This is what she said:

Thanks for the Parker's General Store site. My grandson saw the funnel cake recipe and it went downhill from there. 8 0:clock at night - it was grease, flour, sugar, etc., everywhere! My fry daddy was humming. They ended up being the best funnel cakes we ever ate with confec sugar flying all over the kitchen. Even Bernie was raving about them. Now my butt is 4 inches bigger and my gallbladder is crying!!! Please!!!! I need to be sent to bloggers Anonymous.



What more can I say???? I NEED these funnel cakes, and they are on my list to make for my comfort food this week.

You can go to Linda's Recipe Blog and start your own fun kitchen experience with this recipe!!!!

Thanks, Linda!

First Chemo Treatment Done!

My first big day yesterday. And it all went very smoothly. It took way longer than I was told it would take, but I am glad I didn't have any adverse reactions or side affects. In fact, I came away feeling great.

Got there at 1:45 for my appointment, but didn't get called in until 2:30. VERY busy in there. First, had to get weighed, blood drawn, and then see the Dr. first. Didn't know I'd had to do all that. He scared me a little when he told me that the amount of chemo given is figured by how much you weigh, so mine would be A LOT! That would mean the side effect might be more pronounced for me. Wasn't looking forward to that! Then, to the chemo recliners. Sis and I found seats, and it all started. First, the stab with the needle into the port. She sprayed it with that ice cold stuff, and surprisingly, it went right in, no pain. But. . . . the needle broke, she she had to do it again. Wouldn't you know!!!!!

Here's a picture of the needle they use to jab into that port under the skin of my chest:





First, another vial of blood. Then, the first drip -- an anti nausea stuff. Second drip -- another anti nausea that took about 20 minutes. Then, the chemo starts. They do it slow the first time to see if you will have any reactions. That's scarey because you are sitting there waiting to see if you stop breathing, chest pains, closed up throat, etc., etc. When that passes, they speed it up. So that was about 1 hour and 20 minutes. Then, A SECOND BAG of chemo. Didn't know it was all separate. So that was another Hour. Then a flush drip after that. Didn't get out of there until 6:45. By the time we stopped at the drug store for the pills I HAD to have for nausea, it was 8:00 by the time we got home. Didn't need them, thank goodness.

Again, I questioned all my emotions, mood, and affect there. The lady next to me was very old, and seemed at first to be doing just fine, doing her crossword puzzles, etc. But when her hubby came in and touched her hand, she started sobbing, and I felt so sorry for her. She seemed so tired of it all, but found so much comfort in this little old man's soft, sweet words as he knelt by her side. I was just so impressed and felt that we all shouldn't be there in the middle of that. It was too private.

But there I sat, no emotions except impatience. I watched that bag as it slowly dripped one drip at a time, counting seconds to see how fast it was going. Waaaaay too slow for me!!!!! Sis tried to read a book, but I kept interrupting her with trivial talk and comments. I wish I had taken my camera with me to catch the site of her face while they were putting that HUGE needle into that port. I think she was having memory pains of when she went through all this a couple of years ago. I remember thinking of those times, wondering how in the world she did it, going back week after week, after week. . .!!!! She certainly is my hero and I'm actually proud to be following in her footsteps, having her there to show me the way! Funny as we are together at times, I hope she knows how much she means to me right now in all of this!

Maybe someday I'll cry, too. Maybe it will all hit me like a flood gate opening. Maybe I never will -- I don't know. I'm just so happy right now to have all these "packmen" inside of me gobbling up cancer cells. When my hair starts falling out, and my eyebrows, etc., I'll KNOW for sure they are working. That could be the day when the tears come.

Life has a way of changing so fast and it changes YOU when it does, doesn't it???? Somehow, I feel like a different person. I hate the fact that it consumes so much of my time on a daily basis. It seems that every day it is somewhere else to go, some other dr. to see, taking way more time than I think, leaving almost NO time for normal life or other thoughts and activities. I'd like to be able to just forget it for a while, and get on with life as it normally was. Even when it comes to blogging, I feel I have nothing to say about my day other than BREAST CANCER. Maybe now that this is over for 3 weeks, I can change the subject for a while and fine pleasures in the normal, simple things of everyday life.

Thanks for all your prayers yesterday! I knew you were all there with me -- I just wish I could have seen your faces as I sat there in that recliner all that time. Knowing you were there, though, was enough. I was actually surprised at my own "bravery" and knew it was because of all of you who were holding me up before the Throne of Grace. He does see us through it all, doesn't He??????

Chemo School!!!

I had to go to school today --- chemo school. In some ways, it was very informative and did ease my mind for what's ahead of me. At least I'll know that when things happen, it's normal, to be expected, and will pass. Like hair falling out, nausea, constipation, diahrrea, fatigue, blistery fingers,etc., etc., etc. It seemed that the list went on and on. I was given a million things to read about the chemo drugs I will be taking, what they do in the body, how it works, etc. I was also given a beautiful cookbook for cancer/chemo patients all set up according to different symptoms and problems and what to eat to help it along.

Again, my faithful, trusty sister came with me. I wasn't sure that was a wise move, but wanted the extra set of ears as we seem to hear things differently sometimes. I'm glad she sat next to me and not across from me -- at least I could not see her face. This nurse was a little "overboard", if you know what I mean. I guess there are people, especially the little, very old ladies who need things spelled out in great detail, and this nurse had her little "class" all memorized and down to a fine art and there was NO hurrying it up at all!!!!! So we just sat and sat and sat and listened and listened and listened! You watch, this will come back at me in a few days when I will be sooooo glad that she told me this stuff when I'm sitting hugging my toilet bowl wondering if it's my last day on earth, and I'll hear her voice in the back of my head saying, "This is very normal and will pass, my dear!"

And so, I came home with an armload of books, pamphlets, papers, and so on. I'll just be glad when it's all over and done with tomorrow.

I know one thing, I am NOT OVER the scan episode yet. This nurse wanted to see my port site and I became very defensive, covering that chest site with two hands and stiffening and backing up without even thinking!!!!! How in the world am I going to sit there in front of all the experienced chemo patients tomorrow and let them stab me in the chest without a fight for my life!!!!!! There's got to be a easier way!
I remember when my sister went through this, I wondered how in the world she went back time after time just to have them stab you in the chest when you got there????? She told me that she got to think of it as her "lifeline" to getting better. I guess I still have some self-talk to do because right now the only visual I have quite nightmare-ish!!!!!

I'm just so glad, though, to finally be off and running with this thing. It seems like it took forever to get to this point, doesn't it? I was told today that there will be 4 of these chemo treatments, three weeks apart, so that's 12 weeks of this.
Then radiation and surgery and who knows what else. For right now, I'll fight my way through the chemo part.

Who would have thought I'd be blogging all about this stuff for the world to see???? It's been so great to meet so many wonderful people here, to know that we can pray for one another through difficult times like this, and know that we are as close as just a prayer away. I'm amazed that you all keep coming back here as this seems to be the topic every day. But it has been my life lately, believe me. I'll be so glad when I can put it all behind me and close the book on this chapter in my life.

I do know one thing: Those of you who have walked this path and have been willing to tell ME YOUR stories are just the most wonderfl people in the world. I have so much appreciated the fact that you walked through this and are willing to share with me your journey!!!!! Thank you so much, all of you!

Were it Not For Grace!

Several years ago, when I first heard this song, I felt that someone had reached deep into my soul and found all of my feelings, all of my life, and all I could have never expressed myself, and wrapped it up into one outrageously beautiful song. When I saw this video, I knew I had to share it with you today. Just sit back and take it in. . . but FIRST, please scroll to the bottom of the page and turn off the music that is playing there, so you can here THIS in all its beauty!!!!

A Really Great Giveaway!

Linda is having a giveaway over at her recipe site,Parker's General Store.
She has celebrating her 400th posting of the most wonderful, delicious, mouthwatering recipes you've ever seen!!!!!

Please go over and sign up today! And while you are there, jot down some of those recipes! I'm sure you won't be sorry and your family will be huggin' on your neck for days to come!!!!

Daybook Entry for August 4, 2008

FOR TODAY (August 4, 2008)...

Outside My Window Last week I mentioned the wasps on my window. The same 8 wasps are still there, working "as busy as bees!" Their little nest thingy is now about the size of a dime. It's been amazing to watch the routine, how they communicate with each other, how they surround this nest and protect it, and how they stick to the job day after day after day. . . . . after day!!!!! A great lesson for me on sticking to a project, no matter how monumental the task or how long it seems it will have to take.

I am thinking. . . About how long this journey through Breast Cancer treatment is going to take. It sounds like it will go well into next year!.

I am thankful for... The news I got today from my oncologist telling me that this cancer has NOT spread anywhere else in my body, just the lymph nodes under the arm. Nothing showed up on the bone scan and the CT scans. Still an advanced cancer with some lymph node involvement, but no spread. I'm so thankful to God for this. .. . You just don't know! And sooooo thankful for ALL OF YOU who have prayed during the past weeks. I feel so undeserving after letting this go for so, so long!

From the kitchen... Left over ham in potatoes and cheese sauce, veggies, and a nice fresh banana pineapple bread.

I am wearing... Sandles, black slacks, tee shirt and a plaid button down shirt over top. (Hides the "no bra" thing).

I am creating... More angels. Miriads of angels!

I am going... Post Office first, then on to a Dr. appointment with my sister, then on to Walmart to fill a prescription.

I am reading... Nothing! If blogs count, then that's what I've been reading. I have found some of the most wonderful, encouraging, God-centered blogs that have just lifted me up and I can't begin to thank all of you who share your hearts like this. I would have never believed that blogs could be used of God the way they are.

I am hoping... I'm not a whimp when it comes to the chemo treatment on Wednesday. After last week's experience, I'm almost terrified of that needle going into this port. I would hate to make a fool of myself there!

I am hearing... Buster crunching down his dinner. I'm sure I'll be nudged in a few minutes with a big sigh, and he'll have to go out again!

Around the house...I think the next few days will be trying to get some things done in advance if it's true that I will be tired with the chemo.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week. . . Not knowing how I will feel, I'm leaving my options very open. No set schedule or plans.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

If we could see beyond today
As God can see,
If all the clouds should roll away
And shadows flee.
Our present griefs we would not fret
Each sorrow we would soon forget,
For many joys are waiting yet
Waiting for you and me.

If we could know beyond today
As God does know.
Why dearest loved ones pass away
And tears must flow.
And why the darkness leads to light,
Why dreary days will soon grow bright.
Some day life's wrong will be made right
Because faith tells us so.

If we could see, if we could know,
We often say.
But God in love, a veil does throw
Across our way.
We cannot see what lies before
And so we cling to Him more.
He leads us til our lives are o'er -
Trust and Obey!




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I'm so glad to be able to participate with the others in this Notebook entry. You can visit The Simple Woman's blog HERE!

More to the Story!

Evidently, my sister feels that I left out a VERY IMPORTANT part of the story about the scans. You just have to go to

My Sister, Juri's, Blog and get . . . as Paul Harvey used to say. . . The rest of the story!!!