Thursday, August 7, 2008

First Chemo Treatment Done!

My first big day yesterday. And it all went very smoothly. It took way longer than I was told it would take, but I am glad I didn't have any adverse reactions or side affects. In fact, I came away feeling great.

Got there at 1:45 for my appointment, but didn't get called in until 2:30. VERY busy in there. First, had to get weighed, blood drawn, and then see the Dr. first. Didn't know I'd had to do all that. He scared me a little when he told me that the amount of chemo given is figured by how much you weigh, so mine would be A LOT! That would mean the side effect might be more pronounced for me. Wasn't looking forward to that! Then, to the chemo recliners. Sis and I found seats, and it all started. First, the stab with the needle into the port. She sprayed it with that ice cold stuff, and surprisingly, it went right in, no pain. But. . . . the needle broke, she she had to do it again. Wouldn't you know!!!!!

Here's a picture of the needle they use to jab into that port under the skin of my chest:

First, another vial of blood. Then, the first drip -- an anti nausea stuff. Second drip -- another anti nausea that took about 20 minutes. Then, the chemo starts. They do it slow the first time to see if you will have any reactions. That's scarey because you are sitting there waiting to see if you stop breathing, chest pains, closed up throat, etc., etc. When that passes, they speed it up. So that was about 1 hour and 20 minutes. Then, A SECOND BAG of chemo. Didn't know it was all separate. So that was another Hour. Then a flush drip after that. Didn't get out of there until 6:45. By the time we stopped at the drug store for the pills I HAD to have for nausea, it was 8:00 by the time we got home. Didn't need them, thank goodness.

Again, I questioned all my emotions, mood, and affect there. The lady next to me was very old, and seemed at first to be doing just fine, doing her crossword puzzles, etc. But when her hubby came in and touched her hand, she started sobbing, and I felt so sorry for her. She seemed so tired of it all, but found so much comfort in this little old man's soft, sweet words as he knelt by her side. I was just so impressed and felt that we all shouldn't be there in the middle of that. It was too private.

But there I sat, no emotions except impatience. I watched that bag as it slowly dripped one drip at a time, counting seconds to see how fast it was going. Waaaaay too slow for me!!!!! Sis tried to read a book, but I kept interrupting her with trivial talk and comments. I wish I had taken my camera with me to catch the site of her face while they were putting that HUGE needle into that port. I think she was having memory pains of when she went through all this a couple of years ago. I remember thinking of those times, wondering how in the world she did it, going back week after week, after week. . .!!!! She certainly is my hero and I'm actually proud to be following in her footsteps, having her there to show me the way! Funny as we are together at times, I hope she knows how much she means to me right now in all of this!

Maybe someday I'll cry, too. Maybe it will all hit me like a flood gate opening. Maybe I never will -- I don't know. I'm just so happy right now to have all these "packmen" inside of me gobbling up cancer cells. When my hair starts falling out, and my eyebrows, etc., I'll KNOW for sure they are working. That could be the day when the tears come.

Life has a way of changing so fast and it changes YOU when it does, doesn't it???? Somehow, I feel like a different person. I hate the fact that it consumes so much of my time on a daily basis. It seems that every day it is somewhere else to go, some other dr. to see, taking way more time than I think, leaving almost NO time for normal life or other thoughts and activities. I'd like to be able to just forget it for a while, and get on with life as it normally was. Even when it comes to blogging, I feel I have nothing to say about my day other than BREAST CANCER. Maybe now that this is over for 3 weeks, I can change the subject for a while and fine pleasures in the normal, simple things of everyday life.

Thanks for all your prayers yesterday! I knew you were all there with me -- I just wish I could have seen your faces as I sat there in that recliner all that time. Knowing you were there, though, was enough. I was actually surprised at my own "bravery" and knew it was because of all of you who were holding me up before the Throne of Grace. He does see us through it all, doesn't He??????


Dani said...

I am so proud of you and Juri too...this can't be easy but its always better shared...hope today will be good for you and the symptoms minimal...we are all with you one day at a time...God bless you richly today.


Linda said...

I can't speak for anyone else, but if you need your blog to turn into your outlet for cancer talk - I say so be it. Do what YOU need to do to get through all the appointments and treatments.

I am so glad you didn't have any side effects from that first treatment. May they ALL be that way!

hugs, Linda

Deb said...

Yes Cora, He does see us through it all. I'm so glad you were able to go through this with no nausea, that was truly a blessing.

Wanita said...

Cora, I'm so glad to hear you had no adverse side effects from your first treatment. I agree with Linda - if you need to talk about cancer on your blog, go ahead.

May God continue to give you peace and strength.

Toni said...

Oh,Cora you are so amazing!!I am so thankful to God that you got through the chemo with no side effects!!! Thank you for sharing all the details of your journey with us.It is so amazing the strength that God has given you to get through all of this.

Joyfulsister said...

Cora, (((Gentle Hugz))))
Please don't ever stop sharing your journey with us, you are truly an inspiration and as I read this tears welled up in my eyes because you speak with such a spirit of realness and share your heartfelt emotions in ways where I see such strength and hope. And you are right we are with you in spirit everywhere you go and in all that you do.

I leave you with this..

The Lord encourages us daily, he said he would not break the instruments that he intends to use, that he would not leave the metal in the crucible longer than was necessary for the burning away of the dross. Continually he encourages us not to lose heart and spoke of the joy the future holds for us.

Hugz Lorie

SweetAnnee said...

be expecting tiredness in a week or so..
you can do it!!

Debra said...

Cora, You are a rock, leaning on The Rock. You're in my prayers and thoughts. Debra

SweetAnnee said...

Just wondering how you are feeling now..
Great I hope..HUGS

Maryjane - The Beehive Cottage said...

Hello Sweet Cora,

Checking in on you to see how you are doing! You have and will continue to be in my thoughts & prayers. You are a strenghth for us all and I pray we can all be the same to you.

The funnel cakes look yummy! Must give them a try! Thanks!

Love ya,

Princess Of Pink said...

You don't know me at all, but read about you on your friends BLOG. I just want you to know I am praying for you! Cancer (ALL sorts) sucks!!!!!
Know God is with you, always.

Hugs from a Dutch girl, Marian/Dutchy

JenW!~ said...

I've been reading for awhile just never posted but I want you to know I am saying a prayer for you. It sure seems like you have a good suporrt system with you sister and you sound so brave through it all.

MEME16 said...

some day you will cry but until then let us cry and pray for you- please know that I care- I am a new widow and will soon blog ''our story'' with cancer- but just for now I wanted to say that I am praying for you---huggles me

Katy said...

oh Cora! I am sooooo glad you are feeling good after your treatment! I pray you feel that way after every one of them! Praise God!!!
I agree with the other girls....share your journey with us. We are all here for you!!! We love you! :)

Vintage Linen Treasures said...

Hi Cora,
I just cringed when you said the needle broke. You truly are so brave! I just came back from having two tiny moles removed. It' didn't hurt at all but I almost passed out!!! LOL Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.

Lilli Blue said...

My best friend was diagnosed with the BIG C or what we call the butt dragon...LOL she is cancer free today and living a normal life. No one can really understand what you have and will go through till they have it themselves. But we can share in your recovery by supporting you with stories of survivors who thrive! You go girl!
blessings, Lilli