First Chemo Treatment Done!

My first big day yesterday. And it all went very smoothly. It took way longer than I was told it would take, but I am glad I didn't have any adverse reactions or side affects. In fact, I came away feeling great.

Got there at 1:45 for my appointment, but didn't get called in until 2:30. VERY busy in there. First, had to get weighed, blood drawn, and then see the Dr. first. Didn't know I'd had to do all that. He scared me a little when he told me that the amount of chemo given is figured by how much you weigh, so mine would be A LOT! That would mean the side effect might be more pronounced for me. Wasn't looking forward to that! Then, to the chemo recliners. Sis and I found seats, and it all started. First, the stab with the needle into the port. She sprayed it with that ice cold stuff, and surprisingly, it went right in, no pain. But. . . . the needle broke, she she had to do it again. Wouldn't you know!!!!!

Here's a picture of the needle they use to jab into that port under the skin of my chest:





First, another vial of blood. Then, the first drip -- an anti nausea stuff. Second drip -- another anti nausea that took about 20 minutes. Then, the chemo starts. They do it slow the first time to see if you will have any reactions. That's scarey because you are sitting there waiting to see if you stop breathing, chest pains, closed up throat, etc., etc. When that passes, they speed it up. So that was about 1 hour and 20 minutes. Then, A SECOND BAG of chemo. Didn't know it was all separate. So that was another Hour. Then a flush drip after that. Didn't get out of there until 6:45. By the time we stopped at the drug store for the pills I HAD to have for nausea, it was 8:00 by the time we got home. Didn't need them, thank goodness.

Again, I questioned all my emotions, mood, and affect there. The lady next to me was very old, and seemed at first to be doing just fine, doing her crossword puzzles, etc. But when her hubby came in and touched her hand, she started sobbing, and I felt so sorry for her. She seemed so tired of it all, but found so much comfort in this little old man's soft, sweet words as he knelt by her side. I was just so impressed and felt that we all shouldn't be there in the middle of that. It was too private.

But there I sat, no emotions except impatience. I watched that bag as it slowly dripped one drip at a time, counting seconds to see how fast it was going. Waaaaay too slow for me!!!!! Sis tried to read a book, but I kept interrupting her with trivial talk and comments. I wish I had taken my camera with me to catch the site of her face while they were putting that HUGE needle into that port. I think she was having memory pains of when she went through all this a couple of years ago. I remember thinking of those times, wondering how in the world she did it, going back week after week, after week. . .!!!! She certainly is my hero and I'm actually proud to be following in her footsteps, having her there to show me the way! Funny as we are together at times, I hope she knows how much she means to me right now in all of this!

Maybe someday I'll cry, too. Maybe it will all hit me like a flood gate opening. Maybe I never will -- I don't know. I'm just so happy right now to have all these "packmen" inside of me gobbling up cancer cells. When my hair starts falling out, and my eyebrows, etc., I'll KNOW for sure they are working. That could be the day when the tears come.

Life has a way of changing so fast and it changes YOU when it does, doesn't it???? Somehow, I feel like a different person. I hate the fact that it consumes so much of my time on a daily basis. It seems that every day it is somewhere else to go, some other dr. to see, taking way more time than I think, leaving almost NO time for normal life or other thoughts and activities. I'd like to be able to just forget it for a while, and get on with life as it normally was. Even when it comes to blogging, I feel I have nothing to say about my day other than BREAST CANCER. Maybe now that this is over for 3 weeks, I can change the subject for a while and fine pleasures in the normal, simple things of everyday life.

Thanks for all your prayers yesterday! I knew you were all there with me -- I just wish I could have seen your faces as I sat there in that recliner all that time. Knowing you were there, though, was enough. I was actually surprised at my own "bravery" and knew it was because of all of you who were holding me up before the Throne of Grace. He does see us through it all, doesn't He??????