Chemo School!!!

I had to go to school today --- chemo school. In some ways, it was very informative and did ease my mind for what's ahead of me. At least I'll know that when things happen, it's normal, to be expected, and will pass. Like hair falling out, nausea, constipation, diahrrea, fatigue, blistery fingers,etc., etc., etc. It seemed that the list went on and on. I was given a million things to read about the chemo drugs I will be taking, what they do in the body, how it works, etc. I was also given a beautiful cookbook for cancer/chemo patients all set up according to different symptoms and problems and what to eat to help it along.

Again, my faithful, trusty sister came with me. I wasn't sure that was a wise move, but wanted the extra set of ears as we seem to hear things differently sometimes. I'm glad she sat next to me and not across from me -- at least I could not see her face. This nurse was a little "overboard", if you know what I mean. I guess there are people, especially the little, very old ladies who need things spelled out in great detail, and this nurse had her little "class" all memorized and down to a fine art and there was NO hurrying it up at all!!!!! So we just sat and sat and sat and listened and listened and listened! You watch, this will come back at me in a few days when I will be sooooo glad that she told me this stuff when I'm sitting hugging my toilet bowl wondering if it's my last day on earth, and I'll hear her voice in the back of my head saying, "This is very normal and will pass, my dear!"

And so, I came home with an armload of books, pamphlets, papers, and so on. I'll just be glad when it's all over and done with tomorrow.

I know one thing, I am NOT OVER the scan episode yet. This nurse wanted to see my port site and I became very defensive, covering that chest site with two hands and stiffening and backing up without even thinking!!!!! How in the world am I going to sit there in front of all the experienced chemo patients tomorrow and let them stab me in the chest without a fight for my life!!!!!! There's got to be a easier way!
I remember when my sister went through this, I wondered how in the world she went back time after time just to have them stab you in the chest when you got there????? She told me that she got to think of it as her "lifeline" to getting better. I guess I still have some self-talk to do because right now the only visual I have quite nightmare-ish!!!!!

I'm just so glad, though, to finally be off and running with this thing. It seems like it took forever to get to this point, doesn't it? I was told today that there will be 4 of these chemo treatments, three weeks apart, so that's 12 weeks of this.
Then radiation and surgery and who knows what else. For right now, I'll fight my way through the chemo part.

Who would have thought I'd be blogging all about this stuff for the world to see???? It's been so great to meet so many wonderful people here, to know that we can pray for one another through difficult times like this, and know that we are as close as just a prayer away. I'm amazed that you all keep coming back here as this seems to be the topic every day. But it has been my life lately, believe me. I'll be so glad when I can put it all behind me and close the book on this chapter in my life.

I do know one thing: Those of you who have walked this path and have been willing to tell ME YOUR stories are just the most wonderfl people in the world. I have so much appreciated the fact that you walked through this and are willing to share with me your journey!!!!! Thank you so much, all of you!